i went to my dental hygienist this morning to have my teeth cleaned. it was my first visit there so i made sure to point out a little odd blemish i've had in my gum, right above my front teeth. the tiny red bit has been there for something like 5 years, and considering i've had approximately 20 dentist-visits in that period (sadly not exaggerating) without anybody thinking much of it, i've never been very worried about it, just curious.
well, the dental hygienist got curious enough to go next door and get my dentist (i have to say, my private dental office is awesome - they're a bit pricey, but i love the care i get there) and they had my front teeth x-rayed. as the x-ray came up on the tv-screen (it's a pretty hi-tech dental office) they both simultaneously went "....oooh...."
and then they ominously said my dentist would come back later in my appointment to "discuss things" without saying what it was they'd seen on the x-ray. the hygienist did point out a dark spot next to one of the front teeth and said there seemed to be an infection.
anyway, back to cleaning my teeth we went.. and then my dentist came back and said that he unfortunately had bad news. they're going to have to REMOVE MY LEFT FRONT TOOTH entirely!
i started sobbing, hahaha. i didn't sleep well last night (had a really graphic nightmare for the first time in a looong time) and then my godfather dying tuesday night after a 2 year long battle from cancer of the jaw... it was just kind of scary news.
see, they discovered his cancer when he went to the dentist as well, so even though my dentist assured me this was a more normal condition (i had a root canal done on that tooth when i was a teenager, and apparently there's now a pocket that's slowly developed next to it where the cells are breaking down, and the only way to fix is to completely remove the tooth and get a tooth implant straight into the jaw bone), it was just really bad timing for me to get crap dental news.
also, it's MY FRONT TOOTH. i don't want to lose my front toooooooth! i'm 30! i don't drink coffee, i don't smoke, i take good care of my teeth (enough so that the hygienist complimented me and told me my teeth were otherwise in great condition), and yet 80% of my teeth have fillings, i have had two root canals, and i have two crowns. it SUCKS.
well, my dentist is cool, at least. he calmed me down and told me there are several options and that he's going to mull over what's best and then contact me. he also said he thinks we can wait until july 1st, when THANKFULLY the swedish government has just granted a dental care plan that will heavily subsidise expensive treatments (it will still cost me a crapload, but at least not anywhere near what it would cost if i had to shoulder the whole expense myself)...
and he also said he thinks he can do a good job that won't make the replacement tooth look bad, heh. i've always felt good about the way my teeth look, so losing a front tooth really feels... upsetting. even if it's replaced, the line where the gum meet the fake tooth will still look different, so i'm a bit down about it. i don't want to lose my smiiiiiile.
so, anyway. now i wait a bit.
am definitely not telling my parents - they'll probably get very nervous because they too will probably connect it to what happened to my godfather, even though that's not what's going on here.
anyway. i went to work and talked to my boss (and sobbed some more, hahaha) and she sent me home for the day to digest the news. i was so distracted i took the wrong subway home and had to backtrack to get on the right train.. heh.
lucky for me, marp had to stay home a bit to let in an electrician, so he was here to hug me loads and cheer me up. apparently, he claims he will still adore me even if i have a fake front tooth. that's good to know. hahaha. :)
still. boo. BOOOOO!!
definitely spending the afternoon watching movies and eating more pumpkin soup. (marp made a great batch of pumpkin soup for halloween that we froze, and now it's my favourite meal: mm, pumpkin soup and walnut bread! love it.)
thank you all for your comments to my past few entries - i've been meaning to respond but i keep gettin derailed...
eh, i'll be fine. just a sucky morning. it'll pass. hey, at least i have my front tooth until july.. i will make sure to smile plenty while i can.. hahhaa.