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Wed, Nov. 8th, 2006, 10:15 pm
in the dark

i'm really quite sick of work right now. it's probably because i've finally got a somewhat good grasp on everything to the point where i have the time to get bored. oh, there are still a lot of crazy emergencies, and the kids still stay home enough to cause many days to have extra stress (today's tally: 3 sick, one with a day off).

but still - i get a few moments where i'm actually a bit "meh. i guess i should do that but i donwanna.. lemme check the news a bit." ...i haven't had a moment to read the news online during work in quite a long time. oh well.

also, the project is drawing to an end. it officially ends december 31. of course, we're trying to see if it'll be extended, which would be really cool (and would mean we'd bring a few new members onboard to replace a couple who are leaving during december), but i'm not holding my breath.

i've been in this same position several times before, and certainly enough to have learnt to expect the project to be cancelled rather than extended. oh, not because we're not doing a good job - we're doing a really great job most of the time. but there are always so many other factors being considered, and it's just better to plan for it being cancelled rather than be disappointed and surprised when/if it actually is.

it makes it a bit hard to plan to take time off for christmas - i want to take almost two weeks off (i've certainly got enough saved hours!) work, but if the project is extended i would need to come back before the month is over to do administrative tasks and check in on the project. if the project IS cancelled, i might be able to take the extra time off, but i don't see how i would be able to not be there to tie up any loose ends on the last couple of days...

eh, we'll see, i guess. regardless what happens, the first week of january will be when i know for sure, so no sense in thinking too much about it now.

on friday, we're doing a big meeting with the company we're doing the project for. as my boss explained, she wants me present to listen and learn and get used to this type of meeting as there might be many more in my future. that sounded very nice and promising, but on the other hand, my boss is pregnant and will be going on maternity leave early spring so.. who knows.

i just really appreciate all the opportunities she's given me. i've gotten to try so much, and definitely have had a chance to feel like a small, but somewhat vital part of the company. that's cool. so, regardless of us having difficulties communicating sometimes, i'm grateful for that, and will miss her.

in unrelated news, my livingsituation is a bit shaky. despite saying she was putting off looking for an apartment to buy for at least 5-6 months, gabi came home the other day saying she'd just been to look an apartment and had made an offer.

dude. DUDE. hello? i got pretty angry. no, not that's she's looking for an apartment to buy: that she told me a month and a half ago that she wasn't looking, meaning i stopped looking for somewhere else to move, and now whamma, she's suddenly making offers on apartments without even giving fair warning. thanks.

so, i'm just going to start idly looking and applying to a few apartments soon (as in within the next couple of weeks). i really don't mind the idea of moving apart and getting my own place - i just don't like having somebody else making the decision without promised communication. frrr.

i have no idea what i'm looking for. i've never looked for an apartment on my own before and just don't know how it works. i mean, i got this apartment from sending a TEXT MESSAGE to a dude putting in an ad in a paper back home in ronneby saying he was giving away a lease, and it was just the most random thing. it was also the only apartment i made any effort whatsoever in getting, having had gabi work on it for weeks before i suddenly managed to get an apartment in my lap from minimal, magical effort.

i have no idea how to get an apartment through normal channels. i'm ridiculously bad at this grown-up stuff because i honestly have had it stupid-easy before. i sent a text-message, i got us an apartment. i applied to one job in stockholm when moving, and got it, and now almost 2 years later i'm still working there. i have zero experience applying for things. yeah, i know - talk about whining over my previous luck. i just hope i have some more luck coming. :)

but i refuse to get too worried. things have a way of working out so i'm sure this will, too. i just hope for an apartment with a rent i can afford, 2 rooms with enough space to house a cat or two and a balcony. and an elevator if it's not ground floor, haha. eh, we'll see. still. people. pffft.

haha, i have no idea where this entry came from. i actually (no, seriously!) sat down just to randomly share that i'm a person who spends most of the time in my apartment with most, or all, lights switched off, and something else came out when i started to type. weird.

(it's true, though. i really do spend most of my evenings and nights at home walking through an almost pitch-black apartment. i never leave lights on in rooms i'm not in, not even the hallway. i might stretch to having a small light on in the room i'm currently in, but most of the time, it's an entirely dark apartment with only the computer monitor on.

this is funny and worth of note to me, because i'm also a bit scared of the dark, which means i regularly find myself walking past half-open doors leading to really dark rooms, like gabi's bedroom or the livingroom, and i have to switch on the light to make sure that nobody else is actually in those rooms. if i'm sufficiently creeped out, i will have to go from room to room, switching lights on and off just to check to see that the apartment is empty. once i return to my room, i always close the door so i have full view of my little space, at least.

and yet, i still won't leave lights on around the apartment. totally weird. we don't even pay for the electricity, it's already in the rent, so i don't even have to be concerned about running up a bill. i just... prefer to sneak around, having my eyes adjust to the dark while going to the kitchen for some water, or whatever. weird.)

ok. sleepy-time!