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Sat, Jun. 16th, 2007, 12:48 pm

i'm really stressed out by the constant people everywhere in my home thing. i just cooked them lunch and shut out the noise with some headphones. as my mom came in to fuss i asked her to please go talk to the other people instead and let me be a bit.*

my aunt: "you're so funny, all upset over nothing."
me: "i'm sorry, i'm very stressed out right now."
aunt: "why are you stressed out?"
me: "i'm not used to this much chaos when i'm off-work."
aunt: "what chaos? you're the chaotic person, we're all really quiet and aren't making any fuss? if you can't deal with this, you obviously can't deal with people."
me: "okay, have -i- not been the one going off to my room where i've sat quiet, and have i not cooked quietly for the past 40 minutes? how am i the noisy, chaotic person here?"
aunt: yes, but really, grow up, you need to learn how to be around people."


i like that she perceives me as the only noisy and chaotic component of this apartment, despite the fact that i've stayed in my room (save one minor outburst), yet the other 4 adults and 2 children milling about the entire apartment are "not making any noise, nor causing any stress." i also like that i'm apparently incapable of dealing with all other humans simply because i can't deal with a very noisy family.

i manage a team of 11 on a daily basis, i deal with bosses and middlemanagement issues all day while also having almost daily contact with one of our biggest clients (aka second largest internet provider in sweden), and i also talk to 3-20 strangers on the phone every day (and then mostly aggravated people where i've had to step in because my agents can't handle the call).

off work, i manage to interact plenty with friends and marp and people in stores and restaurants and i assure you, i don't turn into a sullen, stressed mess for the most part. i'm not going to apologize for having a hard time dealing with my usually quiet and stressless home turn into a loud mess. they're used to being a large, noisy family. that's fine. i just don't accept that i'm somehow nuts for reacting this way.

haha. hello, livejournal. thank you for exisiting. i so needed to vent. :)

* i love my mom, obviously, but she is very insecure when other people are around so if i ask her "can you taste this and see if it's okay?" she will go "oh, no, ask magnus, he's the cook!" ..as i pointed out, she's been eating food for over 60 years, she doesn't need someone else to say if stuff tastes okay. then she started fussing about her shoes and i just.. rah.

Sat, Jun. 16th, 2007 01:01 pm (UTC)

Oh, girl! I totally understand! I'm at my brother's right now. There are ten of us, eleven tonight. And are we LOUD when we are all together. My daughter keeps running off to their room in the basement to get away from all of the craziness. You will get through this, it will get back to normal!